I'm a believer in platonic relationships between guys and girls. thats how I've been close friends with danny and xuan for 9 years now. so please, if you're trying to test my faith, forget about it.

there has been so many of them. too big a number to be proud of. all who start liking me once i'm friendly to them cuz they might think that I'm interested in them thats why I'm so friendly. which is ridonkulous. think about it, given the shy innocent me, if I'm interested in you, I wouldnt even dare to talk so much to you for fear of saying the wrong thing and regretting it for the rest of my life. so technically, I'm only friendly to you becuz I feel for you as a friend.

bahahaha that sounds weird. but its true, if I'm interested in you, I wont treat you like a friend would either. I'll look normal but I'm sure the tell tale signs will leak out from me and you'll guess. unless I'm a really good actress of course. hee

anyways, becuz of this prevalent issue with guys, its really hard to be friendly to them. if I don't be friendly, they think I'm snobbish and annoying. if I'm friendly, and they're single, they might get the wrong idea and start liking me. and when they do, usually these guys that actually like me are all the same, and these guys will start acting funny around me. and I, oh brilliant one, will detect the signs, and I start feeling awkward and there we have 2 weirdos. 1 trying not to look at the other, and the other trying to look at the one in the eyes. eew much.

why ruin the simple pleasant friendship we share? why cant u just be my friend and stay as that. wouldnt life be simpler without all the complications. we are friends. we chit-chat tog at times. you start liking me. I don't feel the same. you persist on and start showing symptoms that show you really do like me. and I have to stop denying that its happening again. I feel uncomfortable talking to you. we stop talking. we stop being friends. there goes another friend. damn.

and it IS obvious if a guy is into you. no matter how much you deny and say no lah.. cannot be, if a guy really likes you, it shows. and no, its not the cliched bouquet of flowers and love poems. diabetes much? its the little tell-tale signs. and not so little tell-tale signs. like how he'll start looking at you a lot more than a friend would. in the eye especially. *cringes* ok that was mean. i correct myself, its nice to be looked at like that with a guy of your dreams but not with someone you don't feel that way with. he'll start finding excuses to talk to you; sending u a msg just to see if u're in sch (just to say hi) wth. of course, if its the guy of your dreams, its not wth but omfg really!?. he'll start finding lame excuses to go out with you. the movies. clubbing. breakfast. whatever, you get the gist. all this is nice if you like the guy for God's sake. but if you don't, which I usually don't, cuz the ones I like wont do these, cuz the ones I go for are probably already attached, gay, or extinct, then its SO WEIRD. arrrgh

seriously. it makes me just want to go be friendly to guys who are already attached. that way, you're safe. since there's no way you'll ever think I'm interested in you. and no way I'll be interested in you either since I don't go for attached guys (even though there seems to be so many of them roaming the streets these days).

anyway my heart already belongs to someone. he looks like this