I’ve said this before, and I shall say this again. Time flies bloody too fast by. i need a STOP sign. Seriously.

Yesterday I just finished 1/3 of my presentations. And it was a hilarious experience where sasi actually called me “james” and forgot my actual name. I don’t even know whether I should laugh or get mad. Hahah. Now all I’m left with is 2 more presentations and a freaking 2000 word essay. Piece of cake really. I’ve never felt better. Like in paradise. Totally.

And well, more things has happened and I don’t really know where to begin. First and foremost, I told shaz about him. After so long, it was weird bringing it up again. But then again, it was good to be able to share thoughts with someone. Beats bottling everything up anytime. She tried to let me see things through his perspective and though I do agree to some points with her, I doubt some things are the way she says it might be. Though I’m no longer pissed and THAT sad, I don’t see how I can just overlook the things he has done and treat things as though nothing happened. This is really an improvement, trust me. I used to still talk to him as though nothing had ever happened months back. But nope. Gradually, I stopped. I stopped thinking of what could have been. I stopped thinking that he was perfect. And I start to get a better look at him. At all his flaws. I used to think that I could never find anyone just like him again. Someone that fits all my expectations as well as he did. That’s why I clung on. For a while.

Now that his holidays are coming, he found himself too free for his liking. And then came the (pretty frequent now) messages. The only thing that came to mind when I saw that was “hypocrisy”. Not that I’m holding a grudge against him and am bitter and twisted or anything. But I just don’t like people who only come to you when they’re free or have nothing better to do. What sort of friends are those? Friends not worth keeping that’s for sure. How would you perceive me if I only came snuggling close to you when I don’t have other friends around or if I don’t have anything else to do? It’s the same for friends that only come to you in times of need. Or if they can get benefits out of you. Or if their boyfriends are busy.

So to them, you aren’t really a friend. Just someone to make use of for company/ help. I have already come across such people. People who become leeches only when they require some sort of aid and you possessed the ability to aid them. And people who are so shallow they suddenly become your best friend when their boy friends are busy. And after the boy friend is back and free, they say “off you go. I don’t need you anymore. Go entertain yourself.” And they disappear and leave you standing there wondering what has just struck you. Yup I have had my fair share of that experience indeed. So don’t blame me if you see me sullen suddenly when I notice the same sort of scenario playing out. I just simply detest it. To the core.

Anyway back to the topic. After the experience with him, its just clear that I trust too easily and am indeed TOO Friendly. The facebook quiz is damn accurate. Hahaa

So I told myself. No more online foreigners. Keep a distance. Whatever you do, don’t put your heart out there again to be trampled on. It was easy keeping a distance from him after so long. Since we haven’t really been talking much anyway. Just the usual “hello. Busy? what with? Etc.” rubbish.

And there I was just going through life with no eye candy, no liking of anyone. Just watching my friends like other people. Watching eye candies through my friends’ eyes. If you get what I mean. Haha.

And then, another one comes along unexpectedly. I don’t know if these are tests to ridicule me or what. I seriously don’t want history to repeat itself. And careful yes I am this time. But that doesn’t stop me from liking yet another person. Again. yes I know. Merde is the right word here. Oh merde. Someone slap me. Not too hard though of course. I might cry. Haha

Ok I know I’m blabbering already. Shall go back to the essay now. Will be back in civilisation in a few years time. Goodbye all. =)