wow, 2004. thats like 4 yrs ago.. in jc 1. i remember watching it with my jc classmates.. wince, lilin, sam, tiara, raudhah, hongyi, jiayin.. the lot. and i remember laughing tog with wince loudly at every single funny scene till the rest started laughing at us. and to top it off, we were watching at some deserted cinema at beach road, so the cinema was not packed, cept for us and another grp of students.. and i think we frightened them. haa.

anyway, the whole point is. i miss those days. really. seriously. i remember my class. how we used to play 'trains' along the school corridors, pulling each other's bags and running along. and thats how teachers remembered our class. the one that used to have lots of fun childishly. well life's short. if u don't have fun now, when else? and jc days were terrible in a way that there was just so much accumulating work everyday. tutorials. assignments. exams. tests. and there was cca too, which took up like 70% of the time, seeing as how we had to perform at the syf. but those were the times where we stuck tog. studied hard tog. trained hard for pfts tog. played hard tog. did everything tog. even during those tiring times in co where we sometimes had to stay back till 8pm and the whole sch was already quiet by that time, i had fun. how fun can staying late in sch be?

well, if u stayed with ur friends all day. practice with them all day. have packed dinner tog. i'm sure somehow, u'll see that it is fun after all. friendships are bonded when people stick tog for a common cause, like to acheive something during the syf. and when we got back a silver, we cried tog. all the hard work put in was paid off. and we were sad too. coz that was the end of our long practicing days. we soon grew to miss it. without this 'excuse' to stay back in school and practice tog, friends dispersed into smaller groups that only greeted each other when they saw each other along the corridors.

i miss it. i especially miss wince. seeing as how she was from my class, and how we were both in co, and how we were both attending the same tuition, we practically spend 6/7 days of the week tog. i remember how we would draw on each other's notes when we were bored in lectures. how we would share a cab back after co when its too late. how we would sit at starbucks all day, listening to n' sync and trying to focus on our sch work. how we would have curly twister fries at macs for dinner before tuition everytime. how we would wish for snow tog. wish for n sync to come to sg. wish for this wish for that. and now, she's miles away. the only time i get to talk to her is when she's having her hols and is free online. imagine that.

i wish time could return to the times where we shared so much fun. when i was young, in pri sch especially, i always wished that time would fly so that i could grow old. when i was in pri 1, i would tell myself, its only another 5 yrs to be at the top of the level, pri 6. and when i was in sec 1, i would say its only another 3 yrs to get to sec 4. i looked up to adults thinking that they seemed to have all the fun and freedom to do whatever they wanted. take stanley for eg. he once told me i was so lucky to be an adult coz i could go out with friends when he couldnt. i knew exactly how he felt. i wish i could tell him that now i can go out with friends anytime i want. sure. but my friends are not that free to meet me at all. is that considered lucky? i would rather be like him and meet my close friends in school everyday. ironic huh. now that i'm an adult, i wish i could be a child once again. i want to turn back time where i could be carefree and have fun with friends in school. i guess we can never be satisfied with what we have. the grass is always greener on the other side.

satisfaction. this word alone can account for many things. rich girls unsatisfied with their looks go under the knife for beauty. poorer ones either become anorexic/bulimic/depressed/suicidal/ or suffer from inferiority complexes. unsatisfied businessmen desperately try to climb the economic ladder or try to earn more money and risk burning their fingers in stocks. unsatisfied materialistic people change handphones or cameras or ipods whenever a new model comes out. unsatisfied playboys or girls change boy/girl friends like they change clothes. i myself, am no saint over satisfaction. sure, i'm also trying to come to terms with the life i'm given with. but i for one, believe in affinity. if something's meant to be urs, it would be. if its not, somehow, u'll lose it. if this is the life i'm destined to lead, why bother trying so hard to change it when somehow things would not go the way you want it to go in the end anyway.